AS TOLD TO BC PIRES

My name is Jarrod Ricardo Butts and I feel like a tourist in the land of my own birth.

That might very well make me a reluctant Trinidadian, but a Trinidadian nonetheless. Maybe I’m a different kind of Trinidadian. The kind who says what he thinks and feels.

And for some people that’s just too much to handle.

I’m a Catholic/Hindu with a little bit of agnosticism thrown in.

My thing is, how is it that the most gifted artists are gone and the politicians are alive?

Trinidadians have an issue if, eg, you speak differently or talk with an accent.

It’s not a question of self-hatred, it’s just asserting one’s right to be an individual.

I respect the way the nutsman speaks; I could talk the same dialect.

But I wouldn’t use that kind of language with someone from the corporate world.

Part of the problem is our educators don’t speak Standard English. The very culture itself is limiting as well as limited.

Growing up in the 70s, we looked outward. We didn’t have a problem trying to be citizens of the world.

But now we’ve become insular, clannish. And the sole purpose of our existence is if we want to convert 1,980 square miles of TT, the size of Delaware, to Little Africa or Little India.

And I am not of that.

I am a Trinidadian man of mixed descent. And that is something I am uniquely proud of.

I was born in Port of Spain General Hospital and I grew up in Carenage, Pt Cumana, by the sea. Derek Walcott’s line, “I’m a red n---er who loves the sea,” is very relatable to me.

I was raised by my grandfather Lyndon Butts and my uncle Thomas Butts.

If I have any trace of the milk of human kindness in me. it is because of them.

All the nastiness, all the deviant sexual thoughts in my head, that’s mine. That’s all me.

I lost my grandfather in June 1990 and my uncle in 2018.

Biology does not a family make. I was the product of lust, not love. It’s highly likely my biological mother and father met in a fete in Jan of 1970 and nine months later I was the October surprise.

My biological father bailed, but we’re on good terms now.

My mother married someone else, and he did not want me around. She chose him over me.

I prefer the company of women. I like being with them, the way they smell and talk.

Going to Fatima College, an all-boys’ school, was a form of punishment.

[caption id="attachment_1039202" align="alignnone" width="1024"] Jarrod Butts - Mark Lyndersay[/caption]

One teacher, Maurice Brash, at Fatima, had a profound influence on my life. Maurice had a Mick Jagger kinda vibe. He saw me, accepted me and knew what I was about. And said keep doing that.

I have no family myself. I would love to have kids, even at my age.

If the fates allow, I’m going to be 53 on October 15. I’m a Libra. But I don’t take much stock in astrology.

I didn’t have counselling.

My way of dealing with it was having a sense of humour. Robin Williams made me realise I wasn’t alone in this world.

Good Morning Vietnam heavily influenced my radio programme. In a good way.

But a lo