Kanisa George
THROUGHOUT our lives we're destined to experience moments (some more than others) that teach us the value of seeing things through. Formal education, during the early stages of our journey, vociferously preaches the finish-what-you-start maxim, even against the backdrop of various learning abilities. In social situations, having the gall to stick it out and get things done "typically" puts you a cut above the rest and strengthens your claim on life's survivability scale.
Refining the skill of follow-through might be a foolproof way to leverage control over those parts of your life that passively take instructions. As one school of thought puts it, finishing what you start is an impetus that helps us manifest our destiny - ergo, one's inability to complete, despite the numerous challenges faced, is still considered a failure in today's vastly conscious society.
While judgement is sometimes reserved for back-room forums, social media and the glare of societal chastisement often remind us that we should be doing more.
No matter how hard we chart a course to perfection, the unscripted, mercurial manuscript that is life can often be seen drafting messy plot twists to shake things up. And so, naturally, when all is said and done, there are some chapters, some parts of our lives, that we'll never be able to finish.
For instance, it could be a degree that we started but never completed, a dream that partially materialised, then never again saw the light of day, or things left unsaid in a relationship. These are the types of unfinished business that can permanently taint our lives.
How do we positively progress our lives with the shadow of these lurking ghosts in the rear-view, reminding us of our incomplete lives? And how do we discern those tasks that we need to see through?
In psychotherapist Kate Harvey's words, unfinished business refers to past things that our mind has been unable to complete and "file" correctly. They can be insignificant things like a project we started but never had the time to complete or impactful scenarios, like a friendship we left stagnant, and now too much time has elapsed.
We excessively belabour over the grandiosity of the perceived failure, which takes up so much room in our mind, leaving us stuck in our past lives marred by all the things we did not do. It's like our brain works on overdrive, and its ongoing need to remind us of things left undone is what researchers call the Zeigarnik Effect.
The Zeigarnik Effect suggests that our minds are better at remembering tasks we haven't completed than those we have. In other words, our brain is wired to keep reminding us of unfinished tasks, which can be both a blessing and a curse. Understanding this can help us manage our thoughts and emotions better and, ultimately, move forward.
In some ways, things left undone can tremendously affect our lives. And if we cannot shelve them away and look within ourselves, we'll miss the lessons they're tacitly trying to teach us.
The emotions we experience becau
