ONIKA HENRY

I knew a young woman, many years ago, who struggled with depression in her teen years. She often felt that she was simply 'weak-minded' and got occasionally moody over things that were, according to her, 'not so important.' I don't think she was in denial. I think she really believed that if she tried hard enough she could fix herself, view the world differently and learn not to take for granted the fact that she grew up in a nice middle-class home and neighbourhood; that it was blasphemy and ungrateful to be disappointed in life when so many others didn't have her privileges. So, she ignored it and continued to struggle for years until as a young adult, her 'episodes' became more intense, lasted longer and escalated into suicidal thoughts. That was the point at which she sought help.

We don't often speak about the needs of 'mad people' as we call them. They are made fun of, not taken seriously or seen as an unfortunate burden we have to bear. I have met people who view the family member with the mental illness with shame and sometimes disgust. We are not generally informed about mental health. We do not know that it is possible for someone to have a mental disorder and still be mentally healthy once they have insight, are taking their medication, have a support system, are eating well and are managing their lives successfully. It is also true that people may have poor mental health without a mental illness or disorder.

The young woman I mentioned, let's call her Grace, was unaware of her specific mental disorder. As she got older and the episodes became scarier, she realised she couldn't deny the possibility that something was seriously wrong. But admitting that she might have a problem was hard to do because she felt that her mind, her intellect, was her only real asset - the thing that made her valuable. If that was broken; if that was deeply flawed, then she was really worthless. She couldn't find anything else about her being that anyone would find worthwhile or attractive. And then the stigma. The thought of being viewed as one of the mad people was terrifying. She would lose respect and probably have fewer opportunities to have the kind of career and/or job she wanted. She felt she was forced to choose between trying to survive and wanting to thrive.

We often separate the mental aspects of our humanity from the physical, emotional and spiritual, and by spiritual I don't mean religion or religious dogma, but rather a sense of meaning and connectedness with all of life that is bigger than ourselves and beyond us. We are quick to medicate and medicate alone, ignoring the impact of physical well-being - exercise and nutrition for example - and emotional intelligence and expression through use of the arts in particular. Grace was always struggling with the side effects of her medication. She loved the relief it gave her from the 'demons in her head' but at the same time she said she often felt trapped in her mind: there were things she wanted to understand a