Kanisa George
AS WE AGE, we feel a powerful pull to forge a life of our own. First, it starts with having the courage to step outside the cocoon of our parent's protection, however liberating or scary that might seem. Then we use all the strength and tears within us to find our footing in a sea of uncertainty and chaos. Adulthood is tough work, and sometimes, unfortunately, requires us to venture far away from our familial relationship in order to discover who we are. For those who are firm believers in biblical teachings, even the great book emphasises the coming-of-age ritual of leaving one's home.
"Therefore, a man will leave his father and his mother and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh." While this passage notably refers to the merging of two by the act of marriage, it also contains a powerful lesson about the natural progression of leaving one's parents to establish a new household.
Venturing forth and claiming a new life for oneself does not obliterate the desire or need to maintain relationships with our kin. With the exception of those toxic, emotionally damaging relationships that we avoid by their very nature, kin-keeping is a crucial part of our development as adults and, in some cases, is imperative to our transition into adulthood.
Kin-keeping refers to the efforts made by individuals to maintain and nurture family ties. It entails crafting activities related to maintaining family relationships, passing down traditions, and keeping the family's heritage alive. Social literature defines the kin-keeper as a family communicator who helps the extended group stay in touch by sharing family news and planning gatherings.
In today's ever-changing, fast-paced world, maintaining the life you've built for yourself while trying to maintain some semblance of the one you were born into is in no way an easy feat. Planning family outings and get-togethers and managing personalities are a tall order, and the more complicated the family dynamic is, the more intricate kin-keeping becomes.
Kin-keeping envisages bonding activities that ensure members stay connected. Cooking together, sharing important events and traditions like birthdays and holidays, recipe swapping, and organising events to keep in touch with relatives are some ways kin-keepers navigate and maintain interactions.
An article in the New York Times cited that, in the last few decades, sociology and psychology researchers have expanded the definition to include things like buying gifts for birthdays and holidays, co-ordinating medical care and performing all sorts of emotional caregiving.
Task-heavy, to say the least, kin-keeping, some may argue, is a form of invisible labour dedicated to family bonding and magic-making, which falls solely, or more times than we can count, on women's shoulders. Even with the welcomed changes in gender roles, researchers have found little change in the allocation of gender roles related to kin-keeping.
Researcher Dawn O Braithwaite, a professor emeritus of communication studies
