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Celibacy in a time of hook-up culture - Trinidad and Tobago Newsday

Kanisa George

WE ALL WANT that magical connection. That quintessential romance that makes us do silly things in the name of love. Or do we? Seasons come, seasons go, but the quest for undying love stays the same, or maybe that's what we were all led to believe.

In an era of dating apps and one-night stands, those genuinely seeking to establish lasting bonds of intimacy, connection and love are fighting a very steep, emotionally-taxing uphill battle. Call me a cynic, but most modern relationships can easily fit into two buckets; transient or transactional, which doesn't leave the average love-seeking individual with many viable options.

Even when hopeful singles are intentional and open-minded about the dating game in a time of hook-ups and transactional sex, the results often leave candidates with two options, either you join the rodeo or give up the act and banish all dreams of finding "the one."

Some who exist in the deep dark depths of the latter have reconciled their reality and live firmly in the life they've chosen for themselves without being too hung up on romantic pursuits. Others, on the flip side, have taken things to a whole new, arguably strange level.

In addition to avoiding the muddy world of dating, some singletons elect to embrace a life of celibacy, in some cases only temporarily.

Being physically connected to another is one of the main primal reasons people seek romantic connections. Even without commitment, people through dalliances, extra marital hooks-up or emotionally empty sexual exchanges, can satisfy their physical needs. Yet more and more people, according to an article by Emine Saner, are choosing to go without sex, and based on the research, they've never been happier.

When navigating the hook-up culture, we currently live in, sex is arguably an easily exchanged commodity, often without a vow of commitment.

Be that as it may, recent trends suggest that a large number of sexually-active adults are choosing the path of voluntary celibacy, with some claiming it has improved their focus, mental health and energy.

Research fellow and podcast host Dr Justin Lehmiller shared that humans are increasingly less sexually active, with some foregoing sex altogether. Strange right? In a time where sexual freedom and independence are praised, why are more and more people staying away from sex?

Typically associated with religious tenets, celibacy traditionally refers to a vow of long-term restraint from sexual intercourse, often until marriage. Today, the term has taken on a slightly different meaning, with some choosing celibacy for a specific duration of time.

While the reasons vary, research shows that some people choose celibacy simply because they would prefer to wait until they are in a mutually-committed relationship before engaging in sex. In other words, celibacy is used by adults who desire a serious relationship to reject what has now, unfortunately, become a hook-up culture.

Rather than engage in meaningless sex, people on a path of celibacy use it as a form

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