KANISA GEORGE

Being in a healthy, loving, and sexually-gratifying relationship is a massively important life goal for most women. When we are young, we set our standards high, only to bring those barriers down a few notches when time is no longer on our side. Finding love can sometimes feel like searching for the missing piece of a puzzle, and when we do attain some semblance of bliss, we sadly settle for several reasons. Like most things in life, compromise in any relationship is indispensable. But are women compromising their happiness in relationships?

In a world where women have more rights and opportunities, it is difficult to accept that collectively we are a lot less happy than we were a few decades ago. This is mainly in part to what has since been called the paradox of declining female happiness. And although this principle focuses on inequality in heterosexual marriages, it also inadvertently shines a much-needed spotlight on a woman's willingness to stay. When asked why she remained in an abusive relationship, one participant in a study on the effects of domestic violence shared, 'I believed I deserved it,' and, 'I was ashamed, embarrassed, and blamed myself because I thought I triggered him.'

Some women who experience abuse at the hands of a partner avoid reporting the first incident of abuse to anyone. Research also shows that these women are likely to continue the relationship even after multiple instances of abuse.

A research paper by psychologist Jason Whitman posits that damaged self-worth and fear were among the top reasons for staying in an abusive relationship, for abusers repeatedly used brainwashing and manipulation to trap victims into a vortex of abuse. It also found that women were far more likely to stay in an abusive relationship if children were involved and the relationship provided some level of financial dependency.

There comes a time in some relationships where couples have to deal with the unwelcomed, damaging effects of infidelity.

Cheating isn't a stranger to some relationships. In fact, one study conducted by condom giant Durex found that Canada has an infidelity rate of about ten per cent. The US holds a rate of about 13 to 20 per cent, and several European countries have an infidelity range between 30 and 50 per cent. The study also found that although infidelity statistics for women has climbed about 40 per cent over the past 20 years, the rate of cheating men still outpaced them. If women are willing to make things work after their partner cheats, naturally, one questions what motivates them to stay?

A 65-year-old woman, married for over 30 years, recounted her one regret in life; remaining married to her promiscuous husband. While she was thankful for her children, she lamented not living life independently and settling for a man she no longer loved and who didn't respect their relationship. When asked why she stayed, she admitted that 'it was the familiarity of it all.'

For a woman in her 20s starting a new relationship is fun, fresh and exciting