Kanisa George
IT IS A well-established principle that the square root of 1 is 1, the perimeter of a circle is 3.14 times greater than its diameter, and the journey to the moon from Earth would take a little over three days.
Each of these well-founded findings is based on tireless effort and repeated tests and calculations, with the result being a step-by-step methodological approach on how to solve the equation.
Now, when troubled with determining distances and mathematical conundrums, one only has to reach for what has already been determined. One already has what is required within one's contemplation.
The same principle can be applied to most things in life. Most of us know what we want to achieve, and the results often enthral us. Take, for example, the desire to obtain an advanced degree or purchase a new car. One only has to set in motion a series of events that require financial discipline, personal sacrifice and, depending on the level you’re at, specific advancement. In other words, at least in these scenarios, it is pretty easy to determine what is required.
Other things, however, aren’t as clear-cut as we think they ought to be, and most people struggle with what is required in what some might deem a basic aspect of human existence: our relationships with others and, in particular, our romantic pursuits.
In the same way a plant requires water, sunlight and nutrients to grow, important requisites are needed to foster healthy, sustainable relationships.
But do we pay attention to what those things might be?
During our formative years, everything influences our understanding of relationships and the healthy value systems attached to them. Sadly, our interactions and experiences aren’t all positive, and we’re often left trying to make sense of a confusing mixture of signals that can take years to deconstruct.
This is further provoked by the fact that we are left to our own devices to figure things out and venture into adulthood, utterly unschooled in the art of relationships.
After having several pointed discussions with friends, colleagues and a handful of strangers (hardly a proper sample for an anthropological study), I recently discovered that most people understand the need for relationships, even desire relationships, but aren’t sure what is needed to maintain a relationship.
The way I see it, many people like the idea of a relationship, having a romantic partner, but have no clue what it even means to be in a relationship.
I am certainly no expert, but what is glaringly obvious from the current state of affairs is that most of us are getting into relationships simply because we’re told that’s what we’re meant to do.
Do we even want long-lasting pursuits, or are we in them because we’re told that’s the next step in life?
Maybe we don’t want a relationship in the usual sense, but we like the idea of someone being around occasionally.
Even those of us who, without a doubt, ascertained that a long-lasting partnership is what we truly desire, most seldom stop to consider wha
