DR ASHA PEMBERTON

PATIENCE IS a virtue. It is our ability to remain calm and in control despite ongoing adversity, frustration or negative stimulation.

During adolescence, reactivity, impulsivity and emotional upheaval occur frequently, and to parents it often feels as if their teen children exist in distress more than at peace.

The teen brain is literally wired to be emotionally responsive, which makes it more challenging for some young people to be patient.

In addition, our fast-paced technologically driven world has taught young people to expect immediate and gratifying outcomes in life at all times.

This is simply impossible. As such, parents need to intentionally teach young people how to be patient.

In addition, youth need to recognise that there are several facets of life - relationships, academics, sport - in which, despite their best efforts, time and patience will be required in order to achieve desired outcomes.

Beyond just 'keeping cool,' teaching patience means teaching resilience.

Young people thrive when they are able to manage the challenges they face through techniques which allow their judgment and rational thinking to take control.

Research has linked patience to mental well-being outcomes including reduced rates of depression and anxiety, as well as reports of holistic well-being.

It is difficult to accept that even with consistent efforts, outcomes do not always occur as quickly as we would like.

Parents will play an integral role in supporting young people through these experiences, and they themselves need to be able to provide stability and comfort without further exacerbating irritability.

A first step in teaching the art of patience is learning emotional recognition.

The ability to identify emotions. In the literal heat of the moment this can be challenging to do.

However, tweens and teens need to be able to slow down and take note of exactly how they are feeling. Am I angry? Afraid? Disappointed? Uneasy? Each of these emotions feels different and can be addressed uniquely.

It is not as straightforward as it may sound.

Techniques of mindfulness are essential to help create that pause and space between stimulus and response.

Controlled breathing or recognition of emotional cues are not always intuitive and should be demonstrated and modelled by parents.

Next, teens need to be able to think rationally and consider the outcomes of different courses of action.

Ideally, young people will develop the capacity to cognitively assess a situation and potentially change the way they regard it or the impact on their feelings.

Sometimes, with just a few moments, an ongoing saga may not be as devastating or life-defining as emotions make it appear.

It involves changing the way they think about a situation to alleviate the emotional burden.

From a parental perspective, this requires communication and time.

Parents must be able to be present for their teens and be able to listen. Young people do not always want or need advice.

More often the