DR RADICA MAHASE
“My autistic son has changed my life! Everything that I thought was important seem so insignificant now. I have learnt to think outside of the box. The day he was born I became a parent, but the day he was diagnosed, that day I became a real father.” John is just one of the many fathers who are raising children who are diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and other special needs/disabilities in Trinidad and Tobago.
He is also one of the many fathers who were acknowledged when our country celebrated International Men’s Day last Saturday. He and four other autism dads shared what they have learnt on their journey so far:
"Treasure your close friends, the ones who really understand you," said Jason. "People come and go in your life, but when you become an autism dad, it’s much more difficult to keep friends. That saying, 'you don’t know until you’re in it' is true – many friends don’t understand the whole autism thing.
"I had to get rid of one friend who kept telling me that his pastor can 'cure' my child’s autism.
"Another one insisted, 'Your wife can handle the boy, let’s go for a drink.'
"In the end, the one or two close friends who make the effort to understand and support you in whatever ways they can – just maybe listen to you go on and on about therapy sessions or the little things your child does – those are the ones you keep close."
[caption id="attachment_986716" align="alignnone" width="685"] Support your children fully in whatever they do.Photo Courtesy - Imran Daniel -[/caption]
"Learn to be flexible and open to anything," said Asif. "When my wife was pregnant, I was excited; I had real big plans. Our child would attend this school, we would travel to these places, do all these things. I had all these great ideas of things we would do.
"By the time my daughter turned five years old, mainly financial problems and her level of development forced me to reassess all my plans.
"As an autism dad you want to do all the grand things, and maybe you still can do them, but you learn that you have to set new timelines, change your plans to accommodate an autistic child, maybe move at a slower pace. I had to constantly update my plans, and reassess what I was doing and wanted to do so that I could be the best dad possible, the dad that she needed.
"It took me a long time to accept that but once I became flexible, I was able to enjoy being a father to this amazing little girl."
"Support your child fully while managing your expectations." said Kiran. "I learnt very soon that I had to stop expecting my child to do all the things that I wanted him to do.
"I am a big cricket fan and played cricket in school. From the time I know we were having a boy; I was ready to make him a cricketer.
"Then my son was diagnosed with cerebral palsy and autism and I was heartbroken because he would not be able to play cricket. All my dreams for my child were crushed.
"But then I saw how much he loves art and how creative he is with his drawings, and I supported him fully. I am so proud of
