AMINA IBRAHIM-ALI

THE KITES at the Queen’s Park Savannah struggled on Easter Monday to lift into the air. There was little wind, heavy cloud cover, and an intensifying heat. I made a quick note of the hours left before the breaking of the fast, which took me right back to my childhood when we watched the clock, as if to urge it along.

Back then, Ramadan fell into the lap of August holidays and provided parents with favourable training-ground conditions. The fasting schedule was taped to the fridge, and we tracked the time to stop eating on mornings, and to begin eating again at sunset. “Four more hours,” we whispered to each other as we eyed the chennet, plums and Julie mangoes we intended to consume later in the evening. We crossed the days off the schedule as they passed, because it meant that Eid was drawing nearer and nearer…new clothes, gifts and delicious food.

But the significance of the training ground soon set in. The more we experienced Ramadan, the more we ate just what was necessary to sustain ourselves. We “felt” our fast and did not complain, at least not outwardly. We were reassured that Mom was on standby to administer a glass of milk or two, as needed, but we were also mindful of families without food. It was the beginning of understanding restraint.

Soon enough, we realised that it was more than "just" abstaining from food and drink and, as we got older, from marital relations as well during the fasting day. It was about being careful not to get angry while fasting, because anger broke the fast. Gossiping and backbiting, not tolerated at any time of the year, or under any circumstances, also nullified the fast.

The concept of restraint was not limited to the private domain, but also pervaded the public arena, in more ways than we recognised.

Alex Guarnaschelli, American chef, cookbook author and television personality, praised a chef during a competition on the Food Network for having practised restraint in preparing his dish. I’d never contemplated restraint in that way, but I tried coming to terms with what it meant. The chef had used ingredients with moderation, and, by doing so, had not altered textures or muddied flavours. His dish showed balance, sophistication.

I believe that we also teach our students balance and sophistication as we guide them through the concept of "hedging" in academic writing. We advise that they should be cautious in uncertainty, by using verbs like seem, appear, may and might. I think of the doctors who break bad news to families. They dig deep within themselves to deliver dreaded information in the most refined and empathetic ways.

In his now viral address to the 2023 graduating class at Northwestern University, Illinois, Gov Jay Robert Pritzker explained that we feel fear and judgement towards people who are unlike us. Acts of cruelty towards others mean that the test of an advanced society has been failed simply because people’s animal brains have not evolved beyond their first instinct.

Pritzker equated kindness with intelligence, but he stres