Dr Asha Pemberton

teenhealth.tt@gmail.com

How can parents help their teens stay focussed and on track?

In general, young people respond less favourably to "do-not" goals as compared to "do" goals. Considering teen development, the quest for autonomy is a pivotal milestone. As a result teens have a natural sense of rebellion which will manifest from time to time. When they are told or demanded not to do something, it ignites a response which makes the opposite that much more appealing. Although this phenomenon fades with time and maturity, it is recommended that parents rephrase their language to encourage young people to set goals, to be organised and to do the preferred activity, as opposed to listing the many things that they should not do. The choice of words does matter.

Which factors impact teen behaviour the most? Internal or external factors?

Adolescents are heavily influenced by the outside world and respond to their circumstances. Teen brain development occurs at different rates in different regions of the brain. The centres responsible for organisation, judgment and planning lag behind the emotional and 'feel good' centres. As such, young people in general will be influenced by things, people and the environment around them, and particularly those which lead to pleasure. When hungry, they are more likely to make poor choices of eating higher-sugar and higher-calorie foods if they are close by, rather than taking the additional three minutes to consider the options and reheat leftovers from a wholesome meal. The same applies to studies or other aspects of life. Rather than making decision-making more challenging for teens, parents are encouraged to work consistently to modify their environment. A large part of sustaining motivation is a lifestyle and surroundings that support the goals.

What can parents do when young people deviate from the agreed plan?

When life presents obstacles, which will happen, there are three steps which can be used to help forward movement.

1. Identify the challenges. Identifying them is easier if you think about the obstacles as part of a pattern of behaviour. Skipping homework is meaningless as one event, but if a student realises that they tend to skip homework when they find it difficult, and that not doing their assignments just makes them fall further behind and makes it harder to achieve their goals, skipping homework becomes a behaviour worth reconsidering. One solution is to make a rule about a certain behaviour or challenge rather than deciding each time you encounter the obstacle. For example, a student might decide that no matter what she's doing homework from seven to nine every night.

2. Recognising progress. When times are difficult it is natural to look at what is missing rather than congratulating the accomplishments which have been achieved. In difficult times, adding further negative thoughts serves only to worsen frustration and apathy. I