Kanisa George
ONE OF the most complicated and confusing features of human existence is our relationship with our emotions. Unlike the relationship we share with others, we cannot easily escape the nagging, incessant, joyous, or sad emotions triggered by the activation of specialised neuronal populations in several parts of the cerebral cortex. In other words, we can't run from our brains.
Even when we try to avoid our emotions, we can cover only so much distance before they catch up with us. And you know as well as I do that they always catch up with us.
To win the war that emotions can sometimes wage against us, we must become keen to understand the intricacies that make them unique and the powerful effect they have on us.
Each emotion has its own set of special rules and responsibilities, and positive emotions like elation and love are far easier to navigate than anger or sadness.
As confusing as negative emotions go, one stands out, wreaking havoc and stirring up feelings of great angst. What makes this powerful emotion all the more complex is that the source isn't always easy to pinpoint and is frequently linked to views on self-image and self-esteem.
Whether you find yourself grappling with it frequently, trying to ignore its existence, or allowing it to take root, the truth is you can never truly escape the pang of jealousy. It's a feeling that resonates with all of us, a part of our shared human experience.
Similar to joy or sadness, jealousy is an intuitive feeling that is part of our default setting. It's a normal part of our human nature, not something to be ashamed of or feel guilty about.
Unlike envy, which focuses on our relationship with things and situations that we want but do not have, jealousy zooms in on those feelings we experience that are tied to the fear of losing something that you have, resentment that someone has achieved something you want, or being protective of possessions. That "something" typically comes in the form of a person, like a romantic partner or a close friend.
From a relationship perspective, those twisted feelings (envy) you experience when your friend lands a high-flying job you once wanted, according to psychologists, are far different from the negative emotions you feel (jealousy) when you find out your best friend confided in another friend instead of you.
Associate director for the Yale Centre for Emotional Intelligence, Robin Stern, cites that "jealousy is the emotion we feel when we feel fearful of losing someone or a relationship that is very important to us."
"Maybe we start to fear our relationship is becoming less sacred in the other person's eyes, or perhaps someone else will take away a connection we share with our partner."
Jealousy, like a skilled weaver, can intricately entangle the threads of our relationships. It's a green-eyed monster that lurks, waiting for the right moment to strike, potentially unravelling the very fabric of our connections.
This distinction makes jealousy far more destructive than envy, in my opinion
