Kanisa George
Imagine being faced with two options. And as much as you employ the often-touted pros-and-cons approach, it is clear that whatever decision you make, discord will result. Then many years later, it becomes apparent that your choice was the wrong one, resulting in periods of turmoil and uncertainty. The choice you made is one plagued by regret and remorse.
Face it; we've all been there, and if you haven't experienced life's greatest conundrum, darling, doh worry, for as the old people seh, wah ain't meet yah ain't pass yah. Life comes and goes, and we muddle through challenges as best as we can, but guess what? None of us is exempt from the face of regret.
Even inertia brings about regret, for in situations where we choose to do nothing, regret inevitably comes in the form of 'what if.'
Regret is a demon that none of us welcomes openly, and as far as monsters go, from my experience, it tends to top the list. And it is by this logic that we do our best to avoid it. Then again, maybe we shouldn't. Perhaps, when we consider the fullness of life, maybe regret, like all those other uncomfortable notions like death and failure, is an essential life tool. Each run-in with regret may grant us one small slice of respite that adds to our overall development.
Looking back without self-judgment, can we learn this from the very experience of regret?
Regret, according to academic writing, is a negative cognitive or emotional state that involves blaming ourselves for a bad outcome, feeling a sense of loss or sorrow at what might have been, or wishing we could undo a previous choice that we made. When we experience regret, magnetic brain imaging shows increased activity in the amygdala, part of the brain's limbic system that generates an immediate emotional response to a threat.
Studies have shown that feelings of regret can often lead to physical symptoms such as muscle tension, sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, headaches, muscle pain, joint pain, and chronic stress.
In short, regret interferes with our emotional equilibrium as it questions personal accountability in our decision-making. Yet as much as we despise the effects of regret, it is, conversely, imperative for our development.
As sullen as we might feel when we contemplate the things we lost, regret, once used appropriately, is of significant informational value to motivate corrective action. It's all about refusing to engage in needless rumination and harnessing those feelings to pivot us in the right direction. Research on this topic shows that regret is a valuable emotion used to navigate our future effectively.
Aidan Feeney, professor of psychology at Queen's University Belfast, stresses the importance of regret in our emotional development. 'It would be a very, very bad idea, I think, to eliminate regrets in your life. It's one mechanism for learning how to improve your decision-making - a signal that maybe you need to rethink your strategy.'
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