TODAY is Mother’s Day, a day on which we pay homage to mothers and their influence in the society.
One woman, Wendy (not her real name) has been doing her part as a mother in ways that count the most.
For despite having no biological children of her own, at different times over the past nine years she has been the foster mother to nine children who were unable to stay in their family homes for a number of reasons.
Wendy told Newsday she became an approved foster care provider under the Children’s Authority of Trinidad and Tobago in 2015, and describes the experience as “very fulfilling.”
She said knowing that a she can help a child who came from an unfortunate situation and give them a fighting chance in life makes her feel like being a foster mother is one of her life’s purpose.
“My husband and I have been married for 18 years. We tried having children but we were unsuccessful. We considered adoption but we didn’t know how to go about it.”
She was unaware that foster care was an option in Trinidad and Tobago until one of her work colleagues, in whom she had confided, saw an ad in the newspaper asking for expression of interest for foster care.
“She discretely cut it out and placed it on my desk. I showed it to my husband, and even then we didn’t know the difference between the two (foster care and adoption). We sent an e-mail and within a week the Children’s Authority responded and asked us to come in for an interview.”
Her introduction to motherhood came about four months later, after they were evaluated, trained and approved as foster parents.
“Within a couple of weeks we had our first foster child, a one-month-old baby. Since then we’ve had nine children.”
She currently has two children under her care – a boy and a girl.
“The girl came to live with us when she was five, the boy came when he was eight months old. He has always called me ‘mom’. She used to call me ‘aunty’ and then one day I realised she was calling me ‘mom’ too.”
Wendy understands that, unlike adoption, it is a temporary arrangement and said the most challenging part was saying goodbye when the children had to leave her home.
“You fall in love with them and then you have to return them. My first experience was with the baby, who stayed for three months. We were told upfront that he was up for adoption, but we were still hoping.
“It was emotionally distressing for us when he had to leave,” and they underwent counselling to deal with it.
“That gave us time to recalibrate, and we accepted that we just had to change our mindset.
“People ask us why we still do it. I‘ve come to realisation that this is not about me, but about the child I’m helping, whether for short- or long-term.
“Other people say ‘you all are doing such a good job, you will be blessed,’ but we see it as our opportunity to bless someone else. God has continued to bless us and we just want to pass on the blessings.”
She said because the Children’s Authority ensures the children who are old enough to understand are prepared mentally for the moves, t
